Surprise
After completing the surveys about my communication styles (verbal, listening, speaking), I was not surprised by the results. I felt they were accurate reflections of how I perceived myself as a communicator. According to my results and my husband's results, my communication anxiety is situational. I maintain a good balance of respect and consideration for others, argue fairly, and people-oriented. But the one thing that surprised me the most was my colleague's score for verbal aggressiveness. Her score moved me from the moderately aggressive (good balance of respect and consideration) to significantly (argumentative, personal attacks) aggressive, which I feel is not an accurate representation of my communication style. On the other hand, I could easily see how she would have scored me slightly higher in this category because I work with her daily and we share a lot of our frustrations (about other people) with one another.
Insights
This week I have learned that my personal schemas influence my perceptions and assumptions about new people. It's natural for any person to do the same thing, but how we use our perceptions/assumptions impacts the effectiveness of our communication. According to O'Hair & Wiemann (2009), we need to remove perceptional barriers by being mindful of variations within a group, remember individuals have multiple identities and exist in co-cultures, learning more about other groups, and understanding how schemas influenced our perceptions. As an early childhood professional, this insight is significant in working with children and families. I need to take the opportunity to learn more about the children and families in an effort to be mindful and aware of who they are and what they value without making assumptions.Another insight that I've gained this week is that the content our communication can influence other's perceptions of us. Although I might not be argumentative or personally attack someone during a conversation, my communication with others about the conversation with a person (that I disagree with) can reflect significant verbal aggressiveness. I guess my mindlessness about venting my frustrations allowed me to forget how it reflects upon my communication style and effectiveness.
Reference
O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.
Picture retrieved from: http://brentdavisgolf.blogspot.com/2011/05/communication-in-golf-lesson.html
Picture retrieved from: http://brentdavisgolf.blogspot.com/2011/05/communication-in-golf-lesson.html
Maggie,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I feel that after reading your post that I would like to ask one of my co workers to complete the evaluations for me also. I had chosen a student, (adult), and a friend. I feel that we often forget how we may come across to others, and I believe that I too may be a little more verbally aggressive in certain circumstances. I wonder how we could curb such behaviors.
Raina
Maggie:
ReplyDeleteI also think we need to remember that just as our interpretations and assumptions about others are based on our personal schemas, others' thoughts about us are influenced by theirs. There is so much value in getting feedback from others. We need to know how our intentions are perceived. It helps us be able to deliver a message and adjust it to meet the communication needs of the people we live and work with. So, your colleague's impression that your verbally aggressive can mean that you are just using one or two methods that were used by aggressive people in her past. By seeking out information from you, you may open a dialogue of what she hears and what you mean.
LouAnn
Maggie,
ReplyDeleteI too think that how we perceive our own communication style and how others perceive it can be in conflict with each other. Your co-worker who saw you as argumentative may have been evaluating one interaction that she had or saw you have with someone. Sometimes, one incident will stick out more than others. Because I felt that the people I had asked to evaluate me saw me as a bit too agreeable, I jokingly asked my husband to take the quizzes. While I and the original two quiz takers found that I was Moderately aggressive in my communication, my husband found that I was significantly aggressive. While I attribute this to the fact that I will argue silly points with him that I will not argue with colleagues, he attributes it to me taking my work stress out on him. Perhaps in the end, it is contextual. Thank you for your post.
Maggie,
ReplyDeleteI think it is so interesting that your co-worker found you to be argumentative when she evaluated you. Maybe she was responding to one incident that may have occurred at work and you are generally moderate in your approach. I think we tend to be more passive in the work place than in any other context.
You are right we need to learn more about our families and children to avoid making assumptions about them, which could in turn effect our communication with them.
I totally agree with as an educator and an individual we need to understand the people who work with, have contact with and the ones we educate. Sharing, respecting and understanding their value is what we need.
ReplyDelete