Reflecting on Communication in the EC field

Over the past eight weeks, we have learned about our strengths and weaknesses as communicators.  We have shared our positive and negative experiences as well as what we could have or should have done differently in communication situations.  

Your comments have reassured me that I am not the only one that has experienced ineffective communication. You have offered support and challenged me to consider my perspective of the situation.  Likewise, I hope I have helped you feel valued, supported, and challenged.


As we diverge paths to pursue our specializations, I wish you the best of luck.  For me, our good-bye is bittersweet because I will not be resuming courses (Admin, Mgmt, & Ldrshp) until the fall. However, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my first baby  in June (A boy-Owen!). I would like to thank LouAnn Rhodes for setting up the Facebook page for us.  Please feel free to connect with me there or send me a personal friend request. Also, you may always email me at maggie.cunningham@waldenu.edu.

Thank you for all your support and understanding throughout our journey together.  Best wishes!

Team Building & Collaboration

Adjourning Stage

I am always part of at least one team at work whether it is a grade-level team or a special committee.  Over the past four years, I have worked with many different individuals within these different groups.  I have found my grade-level team the hardest to leave because we had a routine or a comfort-zone so to speak.  Four years ago I joined the kindergarten team, formed relationships both personally and professionally with my colleagues, and adjusted to the established roles and routines of working together.  However, this year I was involuntarily moved from the kindergarten team to the first grade team because of low student numbers (and I had least seniority).   I was very uneasy about leaving the kindergarten team because I had to learn a new curriculum and work with a new colleague who was also being moved involuntarily.  Although the kindergarten team adjourned and it was sad, we began a new group as a cross-grade level team, which eased the sadness to a degree.

In regards to my Walden colleagues, we adjourn at the end of each class with our final thoughts, well-wishes, and good-byes via our blogs.  It would be wonderful to keep in contact with many of you, but the reality is that we haven't established (or at least for me) personal contact information outside of our virtual classroom.  Therefore, I feel our adjourning phase may simply end with a good-bye and celebration of all our hard-work accomplished together.  However, we are not at the very end, so there is hope that we can expand our network outside of the Walden boundaries to keep in touch after our final course together because so many of you provide perspectives and resources that are invaluable.

In summary, I think the hardest groups to leave are those that foster trust, respect, and have well-established, effective norms that can efficiently accomplish set goals with minimal conflict. With that said, the adjourning stage is an important stage of teamwork because it allows time for reflection, closure, and opens the the door for future endeavors.  

http://www.cartoonstock.com/directory/s/saying_goodbye.asp

  



Nonviolent Communication & Conflict Management

Over the past three years, I have taught kindergarten with the same colleague.  We have two different styles of planning and implementing the curriculum, but we were able to work together by openly sharing ideas of what and how we were doing something without expecting the other to jump on board every time. Of course as colleagues, we have had to learn to adapt to each other's personality.  My colleague is very outspoken about how she feels and what she wants.  I don't like to "rock the boat" and just go with the flow.  I am easily frustrated by my colleague's demands because sometimes I feel that they are selfish and unjustified.  For example, this summer I was involuntarily moved to first grade because of student numbers.  Therefore, my colleague was going to have a large number of kindergartners.  She demanded from the principal that we switch rooms because my room had more physical space. In reality, she had almost as much space in her room, but it appeared less because she had more furniture.  In the end, the principal and I gave in to her demands to avoid the conflict.  The situation was further complicated because it fell upon my shoulders to switch the classrooms because my colleague was on vacation. 

Did I use good conflict resolution strategies? Maybe. I heard her feelings and needs. I met them.  However, my colleague did not hear my feelings or meet my needs because I kept them to myself, which made me feel more frustrated,unsatisfied, and resentful.  To be effective at nonviolent communication, both individuals need to express their feelings, needs, and what they expect from each other.  If the needs for each person can't be met at the same time, then a compromise needs to be worked out that will meet both individuals needs. I believe if I would have expressed what I was feeling and what I needed then I wouldn't have resented switching rooms. I would have wanted to do it to help my colleague, rather than doing it because it was demanded. 

In summary, my conflict management strategies are: 1) openly share information and ideas ; 2) listen, clarify, and respond to others; 3) express clearly you feel and what you expect from others; 4) consider compromise.  

   

Who am I as a communicator?

Surprise

 
After completing the surveys about my communication styles (verbal, listening, speaking), I was not surprised by the results.  I felt they were accurate reflections of how I perceived myself as a communicator.  According to my results and my husband's results, my communication anxiety is situational. I maintain a good balance of respect and consideration for others, argue fairly, and people-oriented. But the one thing that surprised me the most was my colleague's score for verbal aggressiveness.  Her score moved me from the moderately aggressive (good balance of respect and consideration) to significantly (argumentative, personal attacks) aggressive, which I feel is not an accurate representation of my communication style. On the other hand, I could easily see how she would have scored me slightly higher in this category because I work with her daily and we share a lot of our frustrations (about other people) with one another.    
 

Insights

This week I have learned that my personal schemas influence my perceptions and assumptions about new people.  It's natural for any person to do the same thing, but how we use our perceptions/assumptions impacts the effectiveness of our communication.  According to O'Hair & Wiemann (2009), we need to remove perceptional barriers by being mindful of variations within a group, remember individuals have multiple identities and exist in co-cultures, learning more about other groups, and understanding how schemas influenced our perceptions.  As an early childhood professional,  this insight is significant in working with children and families.  I need to take the opportunity to learn more about the children and families in an effort to be mindful and aware of who they are and what they value without making assumptions.
 
Another insight that I've gained this week is that the content our communication can influence other's perceptions of us.  Although I might not be argumentative or personally attack someone during a conversation, my communication with others about the conversation with a person (that I disagree with) can reflect significant verbal aggressiveness.  I guess my mindlessness about venting my frustrations allowed me to forget how it reflects upon my communication style and effectiveness. 
 

Reference

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

Picture retrieved from: http://brentdavisgolf.blogspot.com/2011/05/communication-in-golf-lesson.html

Cultural Communication

This week I have learned about cultural myopia, or the idea that one's culture is superior to others.  Additionally, I have learned about the "Platinum Rule" and how it can be applied to communicaiton with diverse groups.  At first reflection, I am tempted to say that I don't communicate differently with culturally diverse people in my every day life, but I think I have become so comfortable in communicating with them that it is very natural.  According to Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond (2010), people who interact with one another over time tend to communicate in similar ways (p. 93). However, I do communicate differently with each person based on our experiences together. For example, the art teacher at my school never smiled or talked to me the first year that I worked at our school.  I always felt that I had pissed her off some how.  Four years later, I have realized that she does not like working with young children (I taught K).  Therefore, I had to learn to look past the frown, sour face as part of who she is and look for things that we had in common, such as our dogs, as starting point for positive communication.  Our religion is also night and day, so I am careful not to mention anything religious around her.

Strategies for Effective Communication

1. Don't take it personal. Get to know the other person first.  “Expanding the world inside one’s own head is the means to understanding people who are different from one’s self, and it goes way beyond just celebrating differences in ethnic foods, music, and customs. By acknowledging that each person has a different reality, you take the first step toward beginning to understand it.” (Gonzales-Mena, 2010, p. 36)
2. Find common ground. "We build bridges with others who are different from us when we can identify something we may have in common with them." (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2010, p. 103).
3. Be flexible. As we learn about another person, we should adapt our communication style by being mindful of their differences.
4. Apply the "Platinum Rule".  Learning to communicate effectively requires us to consider the other persons perspective (thoughts, feelings, etc...).

References
Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

Last Man Standing communication

I watched an episode of ABC's Last Man Standing.  I had seen previews for the show, but never watched an episode before. Here is a link the episode that I watched for this assignment:  http://abc.go.com/watch/last-man-standing/SH55126594/VD55176266/ding-dong-ditch

I learned that you can't communicate everything with nonverbal skills.  I had made many assumptions about what the conversations were about, but in reality I wasn't 100% correct.  For example, in the opening scene the dad and his daughter are wathcing TV and eating a snack.  The mom/wife comes in the room talking to both of them, but gets little response.  She seemed frustrated.  I assumed she was frustrated with her husband for not doing something, but in reality she was upset that both of them spent so much time watching TV and the family never talked anymore. 

I learned that you can read a person's feelings about something by wathcing their facial expressions and body language.  You may not be able to discern what is causing the emotion, but you can see it.  For example, the prankster's father visits the family.  His face is stern, not smililng.  His body is rigid, stiff, and upright.  Later when I watched with the sound, I found out he was upset about his son being hurt and was planning to sue the family if they didn't pay for his son's hospital bill.

Also, I learned that we can misinterpret nonverbal communication skills when we do not know the context of a situation. For example,  there was an older gentleman at the outdoorman's shop, who I assumed to be the boss, and a young, dimwitted, college-aged, male employee that had fallen off a ladder earlier in the episode.  In a final scene of the episode, the older boss calls the younger employee into his office. He gestures for the young employee to sit in his seat behind the desk, take some cigars, and shows him a pamphlet.  I assumed the boss was just being nice and offering him some benefits of being an employee.  However, when I watched the episode with sound I had missed an entire conversation about legalism from the family dad in the taping of a commercial for the store that continued after the commercial was finished.  If I had know about this prior conversation, I would have known that the boss's actions had an underlying motive.

With these insights in mind, I think we have to be careful not to jump to conclusions when we observe children and their families.  We do not always know the context of a situation based on observations alone.  We need to be aware of all types of communication and understand that our prior knowledge influences our perceptions of others or events.  I think we need to be aware of how we present ourselves, too.



 

What is communication?

Communication is the way a person uses symbols and behaviors to share and receive information (O'Hair & Wiemann, 2009). It is something that I have found challenging from time to time.  However, my friend and previous colleague was a great communicator.  Many times I found myself admiring her ability to captivate an entire roomful of teachers whenever she shared information, which can be difficult since teachers are notorious for being "talkers." Her personality was very bubbly, energetic.  She was not fearful of speaking out or voicing her opinion about an issue.  At the same time, she was able to listen to our ideas and find creative ways of intertwining them with ours.

Certainly, I would love to model her ability to listen to others ideas and be able to quickly interweave with them with my own because it shows you care about other's perspectives and value you their input.  I think a significant part of communicate is listening which I do really well.  However, I fall short when it comes to expressing my own ideas because I don't want to offend others or sometimes I feel insecure or lack confidence. Therefore, I am hesitant to speak up quickly or share out ideas.  Often, I am fearful that others won't accept my perspective and perhaps this fear was created by ineffective communication from others.      

"The basic building block of good communications is the feeling that every human being is unique and of value."

— Unknown

Professional Hopes and Goals

Professional Hopes and Goals

Hopes

I hope that children and families from diverse backgrounds always feel valued, respected, and connected.  I hope that children never have to choose between the dominant culture and their home culture, but they can embrace both cultures.  Nadiyah Taylor (Laureate Education, 2011) said,

"We want attachment between families, and we want children to grow up in a nest of things that are familiar and make them feel whole, especially if they're people who are not necessarily part of or parts of the dominant culture, I think they need to be whole as they make those bridges between their home culture and the dominant culture "

Goals
With this hope in mind, I would like to see the early childhood field to promote diversity by valuing the unique qualities each child and their family brings to a program. The early childhood field should provide resources to make a program and life of the families they serve more equitable.  Also, the early childhood field should promote discussions and open communication about our work with diversity so families understand the importance of ensuring social justice for them and others.
 

Thanks

Thank you to all my colleagues in EDUC 6164 Perspectives of Diversity and Equity for sharing who you are so openly in this course.  We have learned so much about ourselves. Now, we are aware of what we need to do to promote diversity, equity, and social justice in early childhood programs.  Thank you for sharing your personal and professional experiences to help me understand others perspectives from other backgrounds. Thank you!

 

I would like to leave you with a quote from Henry Adams:

 

 "A teacher influences eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops." 

 

Reference

Laureate Education, Inc. (Executive Producer). (2011). Perspectives on Diversity and Equity:Family cultures: dynamic interactions. Baltimore, MD: Author.

 

 

Welcoming Families From Around the World

The name of “my” family’s country of origin is Kazakhstan. To prepare myself to be culturally responsive towards this family, I would:

1. Locate the country on a map and learn more about the country's people, history, language,politics, and religion.  I found the Department of State's website useful. Visit http://www.state.gov/r/pa/ei/bgn/5487.htm
2. Learn about the family's living situation, home language(s), and any other background information prior to meeting with them.
3. Schedule a meeting with the family and other staff (translator, home-to-school coordinators, etc...) to introduce them to the school, curriculum, and expectations.  Also, this would be a great time to learn more about their culture as well as answer any questions they may have.
4. welcome and invite the family to visit the classroom and/or eat lunch with their child.
5. Prepare other children to meet the new family by learning about Kazahkstan together.  Also, I would incorporate a class activity that would allow the children to learn about the new child as well as share about themselves.

I would hope these culturally responsive actions would show my new family that I care about them by learning about their country of origin.  I think these steps would show the family that I want to support their culture and that they will be respected.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

As I was watching the movie 27 Dresses this week, I witnessed oppression of a Hispanic boy.  Tess, the bride, used her fiance's Hispanic little brother (from Big Brother program) to clean their apartment.  She told the boy that she was going to help him start his own cleaning business but he had to keep it a secret from his Big Brother (her fiancee) even though this was not true.

This incident diminished equity by treating the boy as a second-rate citizen because of his race and age.  It reflected her assumptions about what Hispanics can do.  As I watched this brief incident in the film, I felt shocked and upset that someone would project their stereotypes onto a child, even though the child was unaware of being marginalized.  Actually, he looked at it as an opportunity.   

In this incident, I feel Tess (the bride) needs to change.  She needs to be aware of how her actions reflect her biases and prejudices onto others. In addition, she needs to realize how her perspectives of others can adversely affect them. “The better you know yourself, the better you can understand your own responses to the children and families you work with” (Derman Sparks & Edwards, 2010, p. 21). 

References

Derman-Sparks, L. & Edwards, J.O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).

Practicing Awareness of Microaggresssions

Last year my washing machines knob stopped gripping and turning around so that I could select my wash cycle.  So, I called the appliance store and told them about the problem I was having with the knob.  The man at the appliance store told me what I needed to bring in so I could get a replacement part.  As a very self-sufficient, independent woman, I took the knob and parts off and went to the store for replacements.  When I walked in the door with the parts, the man behind the counter asked surprisingly how I got the knob off so quickly and where my husband didn't come in with me.

I clearly took this as a microinsult towards women. The implied message was that women are not capable of doing any manual labor especially if they are married.  In this case, I was confused by his statement and taken off guard because I'm not stupid and very capable of doing such a simple task. Then, I felt very angry and slighted by the comment.  It's a common microaggression that I deal with living in a small, rural area where manual labor is stereotypically men's work and housework is women's work.

I learned this week that discrimination, prejudice, and stereotypes are the underlying motivations for microaggressions. Also, I learned that microaggressions and their impact on the individual adds up and could lead to bigger issues over time.  I also feel that people are very unaware of microaggressions and their unintentional impact.  To be perfectly honest, I never heard of microaggressions before but now that I know what they are it is easy to see how easily they can occur and looked over without a second thought.

Additional Perspectives of Culture and Diversity

Perspective from a friend working with Peace Corp in Mali

Culture is basically any learned behaviors passed between people. In Mali it is very obvious to see the learned behaviors in small villages and the family setting. Women get married at a young age, have children, cook, clean and raise their family because that is what women here do. When told that women work outside of the home, or that some women have no desire to get married and have children, they do not understand why.

Mali is a very diverse country, more than half of the country is in the Sahara Desert, while the most Southern region is lush and green with much farmland. The people of Mali are quite diverse as well. While the national language is French, the majority of Mali is made up of Bamana people making the most common language Bambara (which is what I've learned). There are many different ethnic groups in Mali, most speak either Bamabara and/or French in addition to their own group's language. I recently visited Segou and visited a fishing village the Niger made up three minority groups who communicate in Bambara with each other but still speak their own language to family. Also in Segou there are some Teurag people who are from Timbucktu in the desert and they speak Tomacheck and not Bamabara they spoke English to us, and they also know French. The Falani people are mostly found in the north but the men are nomadic, because through hot season they leave the villages in the north and travel with their cows to the southern, more lush land, and then in Rainy season head back up North.Diversity affects the learning styles of the children in that they learn only French in school from 3rd grade on but that is a language rarely spoken in the home.

I hope this is somewhat helpful! I also found this link giving an interesting definition of diversity.

http://gladstone.uoregon.edu/~asuomca/diversityinit/definition.html

Perspective from a secondary school English teacher

Culture is a set of shared customs, traditions, history or even language that a group identifies as "theirs". I guess diversity would be when several of those groups come together.

Perspectives on Culture and Diversity.

Here are the definitions of culture and diversity that I received. I did not change any of their wording (so you'll have to look past their grammatical errors) from Facebook and Texts messages.

Perspective #1

"for me both culture and diversity were something that i didn't discover until i was older. there were many things that i wasn't exposed to or aware of growing up. different ideas, ways of living, and ethnicity's were introduced to me first when went to college. for example, i had never met or befriended a jewish person before then. so much was new to me at that time. later on, i got travel around the country and parts of the world and see even more. these day's i would define culture as the people you surround yourself with. who influences and inspires you. who you spent your time with. the life choices you make also define culture and is subject to change. diversity is realizing that everyone is different. there so many labels attached to diversity. almost to the point of overkill. i think the bottom line is that everyone is unique. i think we as humans should realize this. it doesn't mean we agree with everything. just image how many great things wouldn't have happened if we weren't a diverse culture."

Perspective #2

"I think culture is when a group of people adopt the same beliefs or behaviors. Diversity is when a group of people in the same area have a variety of different beliefs or behaviors. "

Perspective #3

 "Well, our social studies textbook defines culture as the way a group of people live. I guess diversity would be a bunch of cultures together."

Reflection
Which aspects of culture and diversity that I have studied in this course are included in the answers I received—and what are some examples?

I believe these perspectives are representative of deep culture.  For example, Perspective #1 refers to culture as the relationships around us and the choices we make which are all subject to change over time. Perspective #2 defines culture as a set of beliefs or behaviors.  Perspective #3 defines culture as the way a group of people live.  I find it interesting that most of the definitions of culture and diversity focus on relationships, beliefs, and behaviors.

Which aspects have been omitted—and what are some examples of such omission?

As most of the perspectives focused on deep culture, I was surprised that Perspective #2 and #3 never mentioned surface culture such as foods, holidays, traditions, etc... Perspective #1 talked about surface culture in the beginning as he explained his first encounters with diversity but later focused more on deep culture to define culture and diversity.
In what ways has thinking about other people’s definitions of culture and diversity influenced my own thinking about these topics?

Quite honestly I was surprised by the definitions I received. I chose three individuals that have had been raised in different cultures such as different family relationships, religion, values, and way of life.  Two of the three perspectives came from individuals that I perceived as hard to connect with or to establish a relationship with because of our differences.  Their definitions of culture and diversity are rather similar to my own.  I think this is why people need to talk about culture and diversity so that we realize that we do have some things in common.

My Family Culture

A major catastrophe has almost completely devastated the infrastructure of your country. The emergency government has decided that the surviving citizens will be best served if they are evacuated to other countries willing to take refugees. You and your immediate family are among the survivors of this catastrophic event. However, you have absolutely no input into the final destination or in any other evacuation details. You are told that your host country’s culture is completely different from your own, and that you might have to stay there permanently. You are further told that, in addition to one change of clothes, you can only take 3 small items with you. You decide to take three items that you hold dear and that represent your family culture.

What would I take?

1. Photo album of my family
2. Family-made quilts
3. Holy Bible

How do these items represent my family culture?

1. The photo album would contain pictures of family gatherings and celebrations.  My family has had a huge influence on who I am and the pictures could help explain some of them.
2. I would take at least one of our family quilts that I have been passed through generations or one that I've created with my grandmother and mother.  They represent a common thread that connects me with my family.  It is a reminder of how hard we worked together to provide for each other.
3. The Holy Bible represents my family's religion.  If we had to move to a different country, it would be useful in explaining what we believe and why.

How would you feel if you could only keep one of three items upon arrival?

• I would be devasted!  I really don't which item that I would choose but I think I would choose the photo album because it captures more of my family and our culture.  It would be really difficult to leave the other things behind too.

My Insights

• Honestly, I hate this question.  As a teen, I remember people forcing us to answer this question especially within the church youth group.  I find it very difficult to narrow down your most valued possessions into three.  It's like the question - what would you grab at the last second during a fire? What's the most important to you?  I believe for that question I would answer it the same way also.  There are somethings that irreplaceable like photos and family heirlooms (quilts).  Of course, we have memories but they can fade with age (which is really sad!). Some people may have said they would kept the Bible above anything else because their religion has priority but in my opinion the Bible won't save me and I'm fully capable of praying without it so I would probably let it behind.  

We were talking about culture and decided to learn how to say "Hello" in some other languages.